My name is Hannah.
Here are some things that make me happy.
with the fact that I never appreciated how brilliantly blue his eyes were until they were struggling to focus on mine.
with having my heart clench up whenever I see zero orange vitamin water.
with the first night I slept in his room on the cot but he wasn’t there.
with going through his things.
with the pain and sorrow that I know is wrecking my moms heart.
with the fact that I’m relieved.
with the questions that are searching for me to deal.
with my strongest memories being those of him weak and sick.
with the image of my mom sobbing next to his lifeless body.
with the memory of feeling death under my fingertips.
with the dreams.
with the crying.
with the hurt.
with the overwhelming random bursts of sadness.
with never having to deal with this before.
with losing a member of my family.
with losing someone I really loved.
That’s not reality though. I’m learning to deal with the death of my Papaw. People deal with trials everyday. I know there’s joy and a reason to rejoice. So I’m OK with dealing. I welcome it. I’m just still dealing with my dealing.
I’m in such a mood. It won’t leave. I can’t shake it. Ugh.
Sorry, Court. :(
other girls: I love One Direction, Justin Bieber, Cody Simpson, Jonas Brothers, Big Time Rush...etc.
me: I love Luke Bryan, Kenny Chesney, Justin Moore, Brantley Gilbert, Tim Mcgraw, Blake Shelton....do I need to continue?